Absolute Johannes factotum
- SCP-8888-J (?)
- SCP-8888-J is a two-year-old goldendoodle named Triscuit, owned by Dr. Eugene Marsden, the payroll director at Site-59. This dog possesses numerous unusual and problematic characteristics, including severe anxiety, various skin conditions, a sexual attraction to broken glass, chronic explosive diarrhea triggered by even-numbered Kelvin temperatures, an awareness of death involving dog-hating gobl, and the ability to speak English and Estonian at inconvenient times. Its main anomalous effect is that its owner, Dr. Marsden, becomes mentally incapable of leaving Triscuit at home, leashing him, or neutering him. All attempts to contain SCP-8888-J are met with Dr. Marsden threatening to leak payroll data to an enemy organization, leading to the dog being classified as "Cernunnos" because it cannot be properly contained due to its owner's compromised judgment.
- Gaet'ale Pond (?)
- The article describes Gaet'ale Pond, which is a small, extremely salty lake in Ethiopia's Danakil Depression. It holds the record for the saltiest water body on Earth, with a salinity of 43%. The pond was formed by a reactivated thermal spring after an earthquake in 2005, explaining its warm temperature of 50–55 °C. The water is primarily composed of calcium chloride and magnesium chloride, and its yellow color comes from traces of iron(III). Bubbles of carbon dioxide are emitted from its surface, which may be harmful to small animals and humans, as evidenced by bird and insect corpses found nearby.Gaet'ale Pond is a small, crescent-shaped lake in Ethiopia's Danakil Depression, known for having the saltiest water body on Earth, with a salinity of 43%. Formed by a reactivated thermal spring after a 2005 earthquake, the pond maintains a warm temperature of 50–55 °C. Its water is rich in calcium and magnesium chlorides, with traces of iron(III) giving it a characteristic yellow color. The pond also emits odorless carbon dioxide gas, which is believed to be volcanically produced and potentially harmful to small animals and humans, as indicated by nearby animal corpses.